To my surprise (because time is literally flying) my hubby and I are coming up on our 2 year wedding anniversary! Just as I wrote a blog on 6 things I learned within our first year of marriage, and had so much fun while doing so, I decided to start a trend! 😉
A lot of people don’t know the history behind my hubby and I, so bear with me as I take you down memory lane for a sec…
Derek and I met in a pretty unconventional way, which as I think about it now, isn’t as unconventional nowadays. You ever have those moments where you remember every single detail? It may not have been one of those moments for Derek, but for some reason the day we met really stuck out to me, and still does today.
Our paths crossed August 29, 2012 via an online dating website. …yeah your girl was pretty out there looking for love, lol. For no reason in particular, I had conversations going simultaneously with about three dudes. I was keeping my options open, I’m guessing…? I don’t remember what any of them were talking about (it would be super weird if I did) but apparently Derek was in the midst of one of them. I remember him giving me his phone number for me to call him. I was shy, so of course I text him instead. But being that he’s not a “texter”, which he still isn’t today, he bucked the system by calling me immediately after. For some reason, my phone stayed on vibrate those days and I missed his call. After a game of phone tag, we finally got on the phone together.
I’ll save you the long story by saying we talked on the phone for hours that day. Looking back, this is something that I would not recommend any woman, teenager, or preteen to do…ever! But from that day on, we became a permanent part of each other’s life without knowing how much it was about to change.
Our relationship moved very quickly, and it is what I would call backwards. I ended up pregnant with our youngest daughter three months after meeting. Whaaat?? Yeah, crazy, right? But as I look back on it, it just seemed…right? That is most likely the wrong word because we had a baby out of wedlock, but I have always felt like I’ve known Derek for longer than it’s actually been.
Six months after I found out about our baby, we moved in together. I’m sure my mom thought this was the craziest idea ever, but again, it seemed right to me. (Please note: I am not condoning pre-marital sex, living together unmarried, or having a baby out of wedlock. I am only sharing our story.)
Us moving in together was struggle city to the max! Derek was used to his one bedroom bachelor pad when myself and my 4-year-old daughter at the time moved in. So to say there was a lot of adjusting to do is an understatement. And let’s not forget about the newborn that was on her way in less than three months…!
To be completely transparent, we argued often, didn’t see eye-to-eye, and he literally worked my nerves over the silliest things ever. There were many times I thought about leaving because it was hard getting to know each other and learn how to cohabitate. There were tough moments and times when I didn’t understand what was happening in my life. But by the grace of God and lots of maturing, we made it through.
Our story isn’t conventional, and it’s not what I would want anyone to endeavor (I strongly believe in the “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage” nursery rhyme now), but it’s ours. I look back often and sometimes can’t believe we made it so far. I praise God for it. There is peace and mature love in our marriage. It’s not perfect, but I’m always willing to go that extra step with him and for him. He’s my best friend, headache, handyman, lover, baby daddy, my “person”, and soulmate all in one. I wouldn’t change our story one bit. All the messes and drama that we experienced isn’t something to despise, but something I can look back on and call beautiful.
If you are going through a rough patch in your relationship, engagement, or marriage—don’t lose hope. Things aren’t always going to go in your favor but if you truly love and want to be with the person you’re with, giving up isn’t an option. It’s best to give each other grace to grow in order to become better for each other, and allow God the time to restore and rewrite.
Marriage goals aren’t about how much money you have in the bank, matching clothes, or traveling multiple times a year. Yes, having those things are nice, but marriage is much more than that. When you say “I do” you haven’t reached the finished line. In fact, the marathon has only begun. Use your sacred time to grow together, love through it all, make each other laugh, and respect one another for who they are right now, not who you want them to be. And most importantly, always invite God into your marriage and keep Him the head of it. Without Him, you can do nothing. With Him, ALL things are possible!
Happiness and blessings,
Marie Lewis ♥